Blog
Do unto others
- Page: /counsellors/janine-bird
You have probably heard the religious/moral teaching; "Do unto others as you would have done unto you" and agree that it is a great way to treat people in life.
However, following this guideline in relationship can cause a lot of issues and here's why:
This saying suggests that others want to be treated in the same way you would like to be treated yourself. However, Gary Chapman highlighted the issue with this when it comes to love and relationships. In his book, The 5 Love Languages, he identifies five different ways people like to give and receive love (Words of affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch), and that our preference may not be the same as our partners.
Why it's so hard to leave an abusive relationship
- Page: /counsellors/janine-bird
Let me start by asking you to describe, in your head, the characteristics of a typical domestic abuse victim and a domestic abuser.
You probably came up with a victim who resembles a mousy character, probably a stay-at-home mum, quietly spoken, low self esteem, jumping at the slightest noise. Your abuser was probably either a tattooed thug (nothing against tattoo’s myself), or an alcoholic corporate male type.
Would you be surprised to know that your victim is just as likely to be your high powered female or male boss, and you abuser is the guy/woman who volunteers to coach the kids soccer games and seems so humble and nice?