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Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.
I remember reading a book on "midlife crisis" in which the author compared a man (or woman) approaching midlife to Humpty Dumpty. Indeed, "the man approaching midlife has strange and difficult times ahead of him". (Jim Conway, Men in Midlife Crisis)
Many have attempted to describe "midlife crisis" as a transition of identity and self-confidence typically with some people 45–64 years old. Not everyone experiences a "midlife crisis". And it does not necessarily happen in middle age. In my counselling practice, I would normally treat it as part of "life transitions" which might occur at any time in one’s adult life.
Do unto others
- Page: /counsellors/janine-bird
You have probably heard the religious/moral teaching; "Do unto others as you would have done unto you" and agree that it is a great way to treat people in life.
However, following this guideline in relationship can cause a lot of issues and here's why:
This saying suggests that others want to be treated in the same way you would like to be treated yourself. However, Gary Chapman highlighted the issue with this when it comes to love and relationships. In his book, The 5 Love Languages, he identifies five different ways people like to give and receive love (Words of affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch), and that our preference may not be the same as our partners.
Why it's so hard to leave an abusive relationship
- Page: /counsellors/janine-bird
Let me start by asking you to describe, in your head, the characteristics of a typical domestic abuse victim and a domestic abuser.
You probably came up with a victim who resembles a mousy character, probably a stay-at-home mum, quietly spoken, low self esteem, jumping at the slightest noise. Your abuser was probably either a tattooed thug (nothing against tattoo’s myself), or an alcoholic corporate male type.
Would you be surprised to know that your victim is just as likely to be your high powered female or male boss, and you abuser is the guy/woman who volunteers to coach the kids soccer games and seems so humble and nice?